I am truly confused.....
I am 26 years old and have no clue what makes me happy... I LOVE TO WRITE
randomness.. there's no real grammar perfection in my writing .. there's no real substance sometimes .. in fact my diary is dribble at times .. rants and raving about useless crap .. but sometimes its good really good and I know it .. no one has to tell me I just feel it.. I love poetry... im not really into short storys because lets face it.. my imagination is so crazy that my story's are like Alice in wonderland on crack..
im not in denial I live in a small town.. my secrets may have secrets but they all know .. whether someone told them .. or whether I did and don't remember.. but ive found Jesus.. he was there the whole time.. that was his plan let me fail miserably so I can appreciate my future success.. the success that I deserve .. the success I work hard for...
I wear my scars proudly .. I don't have to be nameless I can be ME! and show the world that its okay to be weak at times.. and its okay to not know what your doing and depression can take over but its okay to cry.. just don't do it while ppl are watching it makes it worse...
I am going .. to work soon yuk and I am going to also work in my sisters store and I am going to blog and write a book.. and be a mom and wife and a damn good one.. too .. if you think I cant watch me.. :)
I know my capabilities.. I know what im meant for I know ppl will not be happy for me but I don't want there approval I want mine.. I want to reveal pieces of me to show all of you ... and you know what I want to be an inspiration to others :) I created an alter ego a while back and tried to escape reality for a second... and I found out I don't like being someone else.. I like being me. ;)
I like being appreciated for the things that make me special not the things I made her special by.. She is dead she had her time .. the times weren't right.. she wasn't me.
I created a few emails here and there.. a few blogs.. yadda yadda .. thought ill do this or that . well
BY GOD I can do it ALLL!!!
http://youtu.be/HZuskwmcQGg
im not perfect, im not an angel. (yet), im not the best mom, or the best wife, but I give what I can .. and its all I have .. and its ENOUGH
I deserve respect like everyone else .. I was cursed with this baby face and innocent voice that comes in handy when you want to get away with murder but not when you want respect .. and I thought I needed it for myself too.. I don't care what others say about me.. they can say what they want as long as im doing my best and feeling my best I can be great... :)
My daughter is perfect shes nothing like me she can enter a room and own it .. smile your way make friends .. shes not afraid shes beautiful on the inside and the outside.... she has her daddys confidence .. and my smile a dangerous combination .. god worked overtime when he started her :)
I'm very excited to own my mistakes and im very happy with my decision... this will be beautiful..
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